In the depths of the Green Hope High School English Department remains an untouched secret– and no, it is not about the hidden themes or messages of a text. Instead, it revolves around one person: Kenneth Branagh, otherwise known as possibly the greatest Shakespearean actor, director and adaptation writer of all time. Yes, Branagh is the same guy responsible for the directorial and screenplay efforts such as “Henry V,” “Hamlet” and “Much Ado About Nothing.” However, these aren’t Branagh’s works that are brought into the classroom; instead, Branagh’s retellings of “Othello,” “Macbeth” and Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein” are taught at Green Hope, making up for half of the English IV curriculum. 

So what’s all the fuss about with Kenneth Branagh? Well, what students may not realize is that they don’t just read “Othello” or “Macbeth” in class, but they may also find themselves watching clips from Branagh’s version of them. Most notably, in the 1995 film adaptation of “Othello,” Branagh plays the villainous Iago, where the camera is constantly being shoved in his face to showcase his talent (sorry Josh Hartnett, but “O” from 2001 just won’t cut it for showcasing a great Shakespeare adaptation to a class full of high school seniors).

What some may not realize is Branagh also starred in a stage adaptation of “Macbeth” back in 2013. Since this version is harder to find online, given the performance was live, it typically isn’t one that is shown in class. Regardless, isn’t it weird that both of the Shakespeare texts from the first unit of English IV star Kenneth Branagh but don’t have him in a writing or directing credit? 

Now, could teachers have gone with “The Tragedy of Macbeth” starring Denzel Washington instead? Possibly, but yet again, they chose not to… because it probably doesn’t have the talent of Branagh on display. 

So how exactly did this happen? Well, when the English department started to plan the curriculum of each class, staff members knew they wanted to start it off with works from none other than William Shakespeare himself— every high schooler’s favorite playwright that they just love to read! In an effort to somehow hide the fact that they used Kenneth Branagh as their main source of inspiration, staff members selected Shakespeare plays in which Branagh’s involvement is lesser known. 

So what comes next after the curriculum moves on from Shakespearean pieces? Surely, teachers move on to teaching other famous British texts that Branagh obviously has done an adaptation for. What about acclaimed British mystery author Agatha Christie Branagh brought three of her books to the big screen, including “Murder on the Orient Express,” “Death on the Nile” and most recently “A Haunting in Venice.” However, murder mystery novels aren’t typical in the subjects that the English department loves to go in depth with.

However, a famous story that touches on the themes of the dangers of unchecked ambition, the consequences of pursuing knowledge without proper implications and stars what would later turn into a classic Universal Monster reigns to be popular among Green Hope’s English coursework. That book just so happens to be Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein.” 

What some people might not immediately realize is that Branagh also directed and starred in a direct adaptation of Mary Shelley’s original novel. On paper, this should be a perfect fit for high school curriculum, right? Well, not exactly. While Green Hope’s English IV syllabus does cover this book in its second unit, teachers purposefully avoid showing his version of the source material to their classes. 

Why? It may seem because Branagh’s adaptation is just too much; too gross; too dramatic, and not quite accurate to the book. The movie just doesn’t work well enough as a teaching tool, and not even Robert De Niro and all of the staples on his face could save it. The real reason though? They couldn’t risk making it too obvious that Branagh had a hand in planning Green Hope’s English IV curriculum.

As a result of the vile turnout of his adaptation of “Frankenstein,” the English department decided to veer into a different direction, selecting “1984” and “The Importance of Being Earnest” as the latter half of the books for the English IV curriculum, directly masking Branagh’s influence on the curriculum.  

The focus on close reading and critical analysis of British literature still remains true for the English IV curriculum, however. This all starts with the English department’s mesmerization Kenneth Branagh’s work to carefully craft its curriculum. Even though English IV students may get away with not watching Branagh’s Frankenstein film, much to the relief of every English teacher and administrator at Green Hope, his rumored influence on the first two units still remains.

*Publisher’s note: This article is intended for satirical purposes and does not reflect accuracies in the English curriculum.