Romance seems like a fairytale in modern times, something as magical and elusive as the tooth fairy or the Easter bunny. It’s viewed as an intangible, unobtainable reverie that only exists in the confines of movies and storybooks. It seems like true love has seemingly vanished, while “situationships” and shallow relationship culture thrive. Many who grew up enamored by heartfelt movies like “The Notebook” now settle for partners who won’t even send them a text back, let alone build them an entire house. Why has romance become a mere artifact of the past?
Technology continually changes the way that humans interact with each other, and romantic relationships have become heavily influenced by technology. Finding a partner shouldn’t be as convenient and easy as ordering food online, yet many swipe past photo after photo on Tinder, sifting through an abundance of choices. Profiles are judged in seconds based on just a couple of selfies and a short bio, encouraging users to make quick decisions on romantically “matching” with a partner based on their appearance. However, this structure encourages users to treat potential matches as disposable, therefore devaluing romantic connection. While this is a shallow way to find a partner, nearly 60 million people in the US have used online dating services, despite its flaws.
The lack of emotional investment in relationships that is seemingly becoming more present doesn’t just occur through dating apps– it is common in modern dating in general. True romance can only flourish when both parties involved are open with each other; however, as modern society links vulnerability to weakness, many are reluctant to be honest about their feelings. People bottle their feelings and act emotionless in an attempt to appear more laid back than they actually are.
As a result, many young individuals would rather engage in casual relationships, forgo labels altogether, or participate in shallow dating culture. People shrink away from commitment, favoring instant gratification over emotional intimacy. Rather than going out for a traditional movie date or talking over a homemade meal, many would rather just “Netflix and chill.” Terms like “situationship” and “friends with benefits” have become popular, reflecting a rising aversion to commitment and genuine relationships among Gen Z and Millennial populations, instead showing their attraction to shallow, instantly-gratifying relationships.
The realm of modern dating can feel harsh and loveless, and many force themselves to lower their standards to avoid disappointment. They try to find meaning in empty gestures like receiving an emoji on a social media post or getting a text back before midnight as genuine signals of love. Grand gestures, love letters and candlelit dates have been replaced with subpar efforts, quick texts and late night hangouts, and the standard for romance has taken a nosedive.
Additionally, radicalized views add to the difficulty of finding a partner. In today’s divided world, opposing beliefs can cause feelings of disconnection or even tension and arguing. Simple disagreements are now viewed as dealbreakers, with many people strictly searching for potential partners who have nearly the exact same political views as them, even if it narrows their dating pool. In an already unsatisfactory dating field, divided political views only make it more complicated to find genuine romance. Swiping culture is prevalent in modern dating, and political differences just add another reason to reject potential partners.
Romance is dead because we have let it die. Technology, swiping culture, instant gratification and differences in political views all contribute to making the modern dating landscape difficult to navigate. While finding a partner isn’t impossible, meaningful interactions and genuine romance are increasingly rare.
